As for my own story, I’m finding many points I can relate to personally within these comments and articles generally, but as I mentioned before, I have children. Could I really be asexual or do I just have some major issues?

I classify myself as the former here. I have had many relationships with both men and women, I have had countless sexual experiences, and I can freely admit to feeling, during sex, that sensation that they talk about in the movies and books, and yet I still find myself squirming away from my partner and the whole notion of having a sexual relationship.
It has crossed my mind on numerous occasions that I am in fact participating in that side of our relationship merely to please the person I am with, and because it is expected of me by society.
Again, like others, I am happy to express my love for a person with less “icky” gestures, such as a cuddle on the sofa, a kiss, even a snog, or holding hands etc. but have to stop when my partner wants to take it further.

I genuinely want feed back on my situation here, as this is a fairly new realisation to me, and having 2 children and a third on the way (having literally had sex 3 times this year!) I am wondering if asexuality is a legitimate possibility.

I’m currently working on a Uni project about asexuality and wondered if you’d be free to have a chat about your findings? It would be great to speak to someone who has done so much research, and has been through the experience of realising they are asexual themselves.

Give me an email if you’re interested – I’m studying Journalism at Bournemouth University – don’t be put off by the Journo part, my project is about positivity and exploring the reasons behind why asexuality is so puzzling in the minds of the general public.
Anyway have a think and let me know if you’d be up for a chat.

Thank you for your time,

Helena

“That’s because you’re TWELVE. Sex shouldn’t cross your mind yet.”

That is a terrible one-size-doesn’t-fit-all statement. I’m not hypersexual, but I was very aware of my sexual interest in both boys and girls by the time I was four… and I didn’t even know what sex actually was, yet.

At twelve, at twenty, at a hundred, sexuality and asexuality can be fluid.

Depending on who you’re talking to, and the inflection used, and the modifiers. Most of my friends use the earlier meaning. Some, who I generally consider less cultured, clearly are using the second meaning.

If I say someone’s hot, (which I wouldn’t, normally) I don’t mean I sexually desire them. If I say what someone’s *doing* is hot, then yeah there’s a good chance that I wouldn’t kick them out of bed.

My thing is touch, though, and talk. So I’m not generally one to speak to appearance. Sex definitely is not tops on my (uh… “to do?”) list… but it is something that sometimes just happens when I get really close to people. Guess that’s my animal nature, not being so picky – I’m pan, myself. Anyway. Cheers!